"Desperation Is a Stinky Cologne"

Fuhbaw's midseason previews are on the horizon. Next week, to be exact. Erring on the side of caution, I prefer every team play through half their schedule before running down the state of the league.

Still, we are quickly turning that corner of the season, the corner leading to a dead sprint into the playoffs or a listless shuffle into the draft. And teams on the cusp of mediocrity, or worse abject awfulness, are feeling the starting gun trained to their backs.

You could make an argument that this year the league is defined by desperation. Tom Brady's crumbling knee threw New England into code red. Traditional and new powers - Indianapolis, Philadelphia, Jacksonville, Dallas - are scraping the .500 barrier.

And, of course, the new vogue of axing coaches and management midseason is sweeping the league.

Moves made in desperation have "worked" in varying degrees. With a weak schedule the Patriots have managed to keep pace with Buffalo in the AFC East, skating by on limited quarterbacking from Matt Cassel.

The firing of Scott Linehan in St. Louis netted a couple wins with Jim Haslett’s more fiery leadership focusing an often underachieving club.

Tarvaris Jackson’s demotion in Minnesota led to a minor improvement behind new starter Gus Frerotte, but the Vikings are still battling to stay out of the middle pack in the NFC.

And Matt Millen’s dethroning led to, well, nothing really. The team is still talent poor and plays erratically at best.

This week was a big week in desperation for the NFL. But will these desperate moves cure what ails? Or are they symptomatic of a more insidious virus afflicting these teams?

Let’s talk about those Lions. Winless and rudderless, the Lions toyed with signing currently retired quarterback Daunte Culpepper. Culpepper slumped away from the game shortly before the season started while launching a couple shots at the business of the sport.

After the failed year in Miami, Daunte was labeled damaged goods. Still, with his resume of production, Oakland took a chance on him. The reasoning went he's got to be better than Andrew Walter… but Culpepper struggled to find targets downfield and avoid the rush.

Still, you could argue Culpepper gives the Lions a better chance to win than Dan Orlovsky or Drew Stanton. But winning doesn’t result from the actions of one person. Culpepper in silver and Honolulu blue is still mired in the same situation that dragged down another journeyman quarterback with a big arm, the currently injured Jon Kitna.

Calling in Culpepper only highlights the complete disorganization of Detroit. Good teams weather bad times by sticking hard to a core set of beliefs. Axing Millen was supposed to free the team from flights of fancy and put the focus back on football.

But flirtations with broken quarterbacks who fit neither the scheme nor an often talked about yet seldom demonstrated team-first attitude hardly signal good things for Detroit’s prospects this coming Sunday in Chicago, or, for that matter, the rest of this long season.

Detroit isn’t the only team vying for Culpepper’s services. Kansas City is also interested in Culpepper, but not so much for his quarterbacking skills, though you can make a case that the Chiefs are worse off in that department than the Lions.

A quarterback, they need, yes. But K.C. desperately needs proven veterans around their very young team. Herm Edwards was able to stoke the youngsters to victory over Denver but hasn’t been able to keep them focused in a series of losses since. Edwards is seeking a stabilizing veteran presence on the field, which he may find to some degree in Culpepper.

Purely in terms of personal safety, Culpepper might do better in Detroit where Jeff Backus is a legitimate left tackle on his blindside and Dominic Raiola is a solid center, Kansas City might make for a better fit in terms of what Daunte is able to provide and what the Chiefs actually need.

...


We think of the pro game as less emotional than its college counterpart. And in some sense that’s true. But there’s no doubting mindset and motivation are powerful at every level of sporting.

So, when a player calls out his team, we should sit up and take notice, right?

Well… maybe.

T.J. Houshmandzadeh speaking to NFL Network’s Adam Schefter guaranteed the Cincinnati Bengals won’t go winless this year. He backed up his guarantee with a wager. “If the season ends and we don’t win a game,” Houshmandzadeh said, “I will walk from my house to the NFL Network studios.”

Housh is a great receiver. He uses his hands well to get off the line and his body positioning to make the catch is generally excellent.

But this isn’t the kind of guarantee I can see translating into victory (plural or singular) in the coming weeks. It’s not so much Cincy’s opponents, which are formidable and include Jacksonville, Philadephia, and Pittsburgh over the next four weeks.

Rather it’s the lack of swagger inherent in the message. Housh is almost betting on the law of averages which in this case states that it’s nearly impossible for an NFL team to go winless in a sixteen game season.

That may be the case, but that underlying subtext of T.J.’s guarantee convinces me that it’s very possible Cincinnati isn’t stealing a game from anyone until last week or two of the season.

...


Certainly we expect the winless and the near winless - your 2008 editions, Detroit, Kansas City, and Cincinnati - to shake things up out of necessity, perceived or actual.

But what about playoff caliber teams? What about chronic underachievers?

What about the San Diego Chargers?

Norv Turner turned around his staff this week, firing much maligned defensive coordinator Ted Cottrell after the defense surrendered 37 points to New Orleans in London.

Of course, despite coaching the team to the brink of the Super Bowl last year, Turner is also much maligned. Disbelief follows Norv’s accomplishments, palpable inevitability his failures. During the team’s playoff run, observers reasoned that veteran player leadership - from LaDainian, from Antonio, from Shawne - spurred on the team more than Turner.

But this desperation that in part led to Cottrell’s dismissal is woven into the culture of San Diego. General Manager A.J. Smith, who’s made no bones about feuding with coaches if he disagrees, supports the decision. Smith has also been candid about the closing Super Bowl window on these Chargers he’s constructed.

Tomlinson is talent with few equals. But he’s never carried the ball less than 300 times in each of the seven previous seasons. The wear and tear on his body is considerable and will exact its toll probably sooner rather than later.

While not the team’s sole talent by any means, LaDainian is certainly the point on which the whole show pivots. And placing the LaDainian-led Chargers within striking distance of the playoffs is the San Diego's coach main task.

San Diego, on the bye this week, could go down two games to division leading Denver and still be positioned well enough for a run on the division title. But how closely the team holds onto this notion of time slipping through their hands will tell if Turner holds onto his job after this season.

The Chargers rode Philip Rivers's emergence as an above-average quarterback (I still desperately hate his throwing motion and deep pass but he's been productive...) into the AFC Championship game. Perhaps they can ride a franchise-wide wave of desperation this year, though I doubt that such a push makes for great football over eight or more weeks.

From America With Love

The NFL's second across-the-pond game is in the books. And it was either a resounding success, an annoying trial, or a baby step in the push for gridiron global hegemony... depending on who you ask.

The game itself thrilled. How fortunate for the league that in a year in which the Saints quarterback Drew Brees is performing at an otherworldly clip, he is unleashed as an international face of the game.

And, despite losing, the Chargers furious comeback proved the team still sports the firepower to overtake the Broncos in the AFC West, only a game and a half behind the division leaders, provided their defense plays up to its considerable potential.

Last year, the NFL's first regular season game across the Atlantic showcased the sport at its worst. The Dolphins, tagged as the nominal hosts at Wembley Stadium, were waging an atrocity against the sport week in and week out, stumbling to perhaps their worst season in franchise history.

Wembley's field under steady rains looked worse than Heinz Field in December as players struggled for traction and viewers struggled for views of actual grass amidst the mud.

I love bad weather games. I love defense. But when Cleo Lemon scores the only passing touchdown of a game and Eli Manning scores the only rushing touchdown of a game, something is terribly amiss.

This year, however, the NFL showcased the sport at its best.

A story line of revenge against a former team was out there for fans, for the neophyte upon which the nuances of our complex game might be lost.

The play by the most important position on the field was stellar. Brees and Philip Rivers put up eerily similar numbers. Brees attempted 41 passes, Rivers 40. Brees threw for 339 yards, Rivers for 341. Brees connected on three touchdowns, River on three.

While the numbers were both gaudy and similar, much of the game was Brees as he calmly controlled the pace like he has much of this season. Rivers was more erratic in the early going, but came on late until Jonathan Vilma picked off a nearly game sealing pass.

And the game's big big star, LaDanainian Tomlinson, in the midst of a down year put on a show and reminded the audience, global and domestic, why he's one of the best in the game. The short crossing route touchdown catch was pure beauty as Tomlinson made one of those shivering cuts to split two defenders for the score.

The high caliber of play (at least on offense) wasn't lost on the British observers. Both the Guardian and the London Times returned positive reviews of the game and experience.

But amidst the jubilation, not everyone sang the London's games praises.

Saints coach Sean Payton bemoaned the difficult logistics, cramped flight, and still sub-par field conditions:

"The travel, transportation, those aren't club issues, those are league issues. We've been unable to figure that part of it out," Payton said. "When we play a game and we're in a plane that's over 30 years old a day later and we have players sitting in (small) seats ... I think they just have a lot of work to do to figure this thing out. It's hard for me to say it's a great experience and a great thing for your club."

By my count, Payton wasn't alone.

At the bar on Sunday, people I talked to were conflicted about the NFL going international. Most expressed concern for the players traveling at least twice as long for any domestic game. Also, a certain protectiveness concerning our national game crept into the discussions.

And the consensus blamed money, if not outright greed, for sending the game from our stadiums to far away shores.

The business aspect of the pro football, and pro sports in general, rarely fits neatly with the emotional aspect. Whether our favorite players are let go because of salary cap issues or personal seat licenses drive diehards out of new stadiums, the owner's bottom line can swing a huge axe at the fan's heart.

As much as I may feel otherwise, my brain tells me that football is in no way essential to me. It is essential to the livelihood of the owners, coaches, and players, who depend on my dollars. And we'll keep forking over money as long as that emotional connection with our teams, with the sport, resonates deeply.

By pushing outward, the NFL need be careful to not alienate the base, the fans stateside.

But, of course, the commissioner thinks big and more surprisingly talks big. Obviously, Roger Goodell's tenure is marked by bold moves. Hard line suspensions regarding player conduct comes to the fore. But he also has candidly addressed adding more regular season games and the looming labor crisis.

Goodell makes no bones about these London games have a larger purpose, unlike Ted Rogers and Ralph Wilson concerning the Toronto games that Buffalo will play over the next several years. The Commish would like to talk about an eventual London team should these Wembley games continue to sell the requisite tickets and merchandise. Goodell teased the TV audience with the notion that a London team was a "realistic possiblity" in the perhaps distant future.

What last Sunday's game will mean in the big picture we won't know for some time. Perhaps it's a great moment in a fizzled experiment. Or an early watershed in football's global march. Or a reach for the two birds in the bush while losing the one in hand.

The only thing we can be sure of now? There are even more Saints fans with weird accents than there were this time last week.

The Notebook, Week 8

During the broadcast of the New York-Pittsburgh match-up, announcers Dick Stockton and Troy Aikman more than once characterized the game's atmosphere as "playoff-like."

The observation stood out, if only because its inane levels were off the charts. It's not like we're talking about baseball in June...

The NFL, with its brief regular season, rarely lacks for drama week to week. The results of a single game can be rationalized as an aberration. Two games, however, and we have a trend on our hands.

The NFL's regular season isn't as far along the intensity spectrum as NCAA ball where championship dreams are crushed on a single October Saturday.

Still, every win and, more importantly, every loss is rife with far reaching consequences from the season’s start in September all the way through December race for the Wild Card. Rarely do playoff bound teams survive a month-long slump like contenders in basketball or baseball.

(Perhaps the juxtaposition of the World Series this week - the national pastime's moment of abrupt, almost jarring, intensity - to the NFL's midseason brought the comparison to the announcers' minds.)

Consider the facts in this case. Pittsburgh and New York. Two division leaders meeting near midseason. Both in fine form, both fighting for breathing room in their respective conferences. Is it noteworthy if the teams and their fans act as if the stakes are high? The stakes, quite simply, are a given.

No, another "playoff" issue was at work in the Giants late rally over the dangerous but incomplete Steelers.

And it has everything to do with just who these reigning champs are… the team that rewrote history with an “improbable” run. Or the team suddenly leading the league’s best division, an equally sudden and interrelated development.

This year, the Giants dominated opponents from the first. The domination obscured our notion of the Super Bowl 42 winning New York Giants.

That New York team, the Cinderella of last year, was a scrappy one. They traded punches with opponents, absorbing more than their fair share of body blows, before finally delivering a late knockout.

In the offseason, the team often talked about a lack of respect. They claimed they were a really good team, not just some once-in-a-blue moon concoction of lowered expectations, focus, and velco-headed voodoo. Certainly some believed… but honestly, most outside of the diehards didn’t.

Back in summer I was on the train, head buried in Dr. Z’s New Thinking Man’s Guide to Pro Football (out of print, if you can find, definitely recommended) when a fellow passanger, recognizing a football obsession, asked if me if the Giants would repeat.

“Not a chance,” I answered.

Often times, pros talk about a lack of respect or outright disrespect. It’s the time-honored Jordan tactic of using everything as a slight, of ratcheting up insecurity to operatic levels for motivation.

But, in the case of the Giants, not much exaggeration was required. Universally they were depicted as a Cinderella team. The insinuation that their accomplishments were a fluke. And that insinuation stung.

This year, when New York shot out of the gate demolishing opponents we scrambled to redefine them. The Giants as aggressors, as pacesetters. For anyone who watched them almost shoot their playoffs dreams in the foot two years running, it was a hard definition to recite.

The main storyline revolved around this team's maturation portending greater things. But I'm not so sure that New York went through some sudden jump in evolution. And the team might be all the better for it.

Take Sunday’s game on hostile turf against a foe if not superior than very much their equal.

The only thing the Giants controlled was the clock. The offense pounded the ball on the ground, ending with a near 50-50 pass to rush ration, despite diminishing returns. Eighty-three yards on 35 carries is a down day for a New York team accustomed to being near the top of the league’s stats in rushes and yardage.

Every big play New York put up Pittsburgh bested. Every drive into the redzone sputtered out lamely.

That is, until the Giants patiently waited for the right Steelers mistake to pounce on. Ben Roethlisberger’s first three interceptions were enough to keep New York in the game. The interceptions were in part a product of the killer rush New York unleashed – five sacks in all, three by Matthias Kiwanuka – but, in tandem with the Pittsburgh lead, underscored how much better the Steelers played overall through the game’s early goings.

When James Harrison, linebacker turned emergency long snapper, sailed a snap over punter Mitch Berger’s head for a safety, the crunch of the clock and tied score spurred the Giants forth. They dared Pittsburgh to blitz, relying on their pass pro to keep Eli Manning upright and able to carve up a banged up secondary.

And they did it with ease, calm and confident in three- and five-step drops. Determined in drive blocking for clock chewing yards.

Outside of the clock and turnovers, the Giants appeared outplayed for much of the afternoon. But my question can a team be outplayed if that’s precisely the game they want to play?

So how does this relate to the playoffs? Yesterday the Giants played like last year’s Giants. Unlike, the crowned Giants they didn't dominate. Instead, they reaffirmed that they can win almost any game.

The early season domination wasn't some sudden growth. Instead, that was the fleeting version of this team.

Perhaps the most impressive thing about the New England Patriots near perfect run last year was how the team found new and impressive ways each week to feed their collective inferiority comple. They fashioned slights from compliments, they distorted general comments took them personally.

Nothing new there, but the Patriots managed to stretch that over an entire regular season and very nearly through the entire playoffs. A feat in itself.

When push came to shove, however, the Patriots were shoved. They forgot the things they did well when they lost their focus, when they lost their Us versus the World mentality. They forgot the team they were behind the motivations.

This year, the Giants tasted a little of that strong medicine, shooting out of the gate with a chip on their shoulder, banging their chest, decrying a lack of respect. It’s powerful but in a sense almost naturally short-lived. The Patriots perhaps tumbled so far because they rode it too long.

Yesterday, New York facing a challenge didn't forget who they are. They played their game. They were willing to let the scoreboard and the bruises on their opponents justify their approach.

It's not that New York plays error free football. Eli tosses his fair share of picks. And their aggressive defense can make an occasional run on yellow flags. Tom Coughlin certainly runs a pretty tight ship so the mental gaffes rarely reach ridiculous Raider levels.

Like their quarterback, the Giants remain unfazed by the first three quarters of a game, no matter if they’re winning or losing.

In a few years, New York may transform into the Detroit Pistons, far too confident in their abilites, relaxed to the point of indifference in big games. But for now the Giants have enough to prove. And they have enough proof that what they do works.

Phi Bloga Recapa, Week 9

Apologies for not posting Phi Bloga Recapa last week. As mentioned before, last Sunday was an adventure in standby hot on the heels of a Dallas wedding defined by blackout drinking (not personally) and non-complimentary WiFi.

While a forced break from the internet was grudgingly welcome, I'm happily 100% plugged in and hooked up again.

Anyway, college football. Interesting thing about the marquee game last between Penn State and Ohio State, many hoped it to be this season's last marquee game for the Big Ten. That is, should the Buckeyes have stomped the Nittany Lions' national championship dreams into the turf, the general football public wouldn't need to worry about another Big Ten BCS choke job.

Instead, Penn State played error free if not exactly efficiently. Assuming Alabama or Texas stumbles in the coming weeks, Penn State is practically automatic for the big dance. I guess there's an outside chance Hawkeyes or Hoosiers ruin the JoePa party. But this team ia playing highly disciplined football. We're not talking about the kitten-and-ball-of-string USC teams of the past couple years, easily distracted in small games

Now, what happens once should the Lions get there? At least, Paterno brings a stellar big game resume to the table unlike say Jim Tressel or Bob Stoops. Still, considering how tough the Big XII and SEC look this year, you can bet a BCS game not featuring one from each conference will disappoint.

Let's take a look around sports blogfrica for reactions to Saturday's action.

West Virginia 34 Auburn 17. Charley West at West BY GOD Virginia says:

Sure, there were still hiccups last night: two early interceptions, a fumbled end-around, terrible kickoff coverage. But from that turning point in the second quarter, Auburn had absolutely no answer. None. They were completely out-classed by a Mountaineer team that looked every bit like the pre-season top ten team.

And that was the characteristic of many Mountaineer teams of past year[s]. You always got the feeling that the other team just didn’t have a chance. We were going to run our offense, you couldn’t stop it, and then we’d all go out for beers afterwards. And with 8:08 remaining in that second quarter, we woke up those echoes and found that swagger. And from then on, the game was over. Just like we knew it in the past.

Texas Tech 63 Kansas 21. Denverjhawk at Rock Chalk Talk says:

Kansas came out ready to get into a shootout and quickly realized we were out gunned. So where did things go wrong? Obviously we've discussed the need for a pass rush, but with that possibility unlikely what could we have done different? The Running game seemed to be firing early on but once your down 14 you can't help but move away from it, can you?

I don't know all the answers and this one was as dissapointing a Kansas football loss as I've ever witnessed. I'm not down on the team and I don't think this is a sign of a downward spiral. It is simply an unprepared, outmanned team that was beaten handily today. 8-4 is still on the table but isn't looking very likely at this point.

Texas 28 Oklahoma State 24. PB at Burnt Orange Nation says:

We saw two mistakes from Colt in the red zone today that were straight out of 2007: the pass off his back foot that Cox intercepted (mercifully nullified by a late hit penalty) and the fumble after holding the ball too long in traffic. If nothing else, it was a reminder (to him, to us, to the team) that he can't do everything, all the time.

Amazingly, however, outside those two plays he nearly was freaking perfect. Oklahoma State spent the entire first half playing zone and, with our running game in the toilet, Colt worked the gaps with surgical precision, hitting Shipley, Cosby, and Ogbonnaya over and over and over. Though OSU made some excellent second half adjustments on defense, McCoy was so good that Texas was able to hang on, chewing up clock with one improbable third down conversion after another. Even though it didn't result in points, the 7-minute fourth quarter drive won the game for the 'Horns. At that point, we needed to keep OSU's offense off the field... and we did.

Georgia 52 LSU 38. Mackalicious at Blogging Pantsless says:

Darrell Gamble made me happy today. Knowshon made me happy today. Matthew Stafford made me happy today. Blair Walsh made me happy today. For the most part, the Dawgs made me happy today.

...

Hear me now and believe me later, next week's Cocktail Party will be a game for the ages. My pessimism is at a drinker's low right now, but I'm predicting a Georgia win by 10. I reserve the right to change that number daily as the day draws closer, but seeing Georgia playing with some offensive authority makes my confidence go "Yay!".

Rutgers 54 Pitt 34. Chas at Pitt Blather says:

Do not mess with the football gods. They are vengeful, bitter deities.

I know I quietly took pleasure in seeing Paul Rhoads’ Auburn defense get dismantled on Thursday night. Laughing as there before the world, was what Pitt fans had endured. That, clearly last year’s 13-9 triumph, was all Wannstedt taking control of the defense and coming up with the superior gameplan.

So, um, of course Pitt lets themselves get completely torched by one of the most offensively inept offenses in the country. A team that hadn’t scored more than 21 points against a 1-A opponent this year. A team that had maxed out at 38 against 1-AA. And Pitt lets them hang 54.

Penn State 13 Ohio State 6. BSD at Black Shoe Diaries says:

Before this game I heard our defense hadn't been tested. They held Ohio State to six points.

Before this game I was told our offensive line was a weakness. Penn State rushed for 160 yards. Ohio State rushed for 61.

Before this game I was told Ohio State had the better running back. Evan Royster had 77 yards rushing. Beanie Wells had 55.

Before this game I was told Terrelle Pryor was the better quarterback. Terrelle Pryor choked and fumbled the ball to give us the win.

Before this game I heard Penn State hasn't won in Columbus in 30 years. We won tonight.

Before this game I was told Penn State hadn't been tested. Penn State is 9-0 and we're going undefeated.

The "D" in Big D (link)

With three losses in four games (and really almost losing to Cincinnati counts as another loss) everyone's scrambling to explain the disaster in Dallas.

There's no Jessica Simpson to cover up accusations of mental midgetry. Nor is there a Cinderella story, something more puzzling and more spectacular, to distract our attention from poking and prodding the franchise that nearly every year wins the Super Bowl of Swagger.

So what happened to the universal preseason favorite?

Go to Throwing Into Traffic where Zac traces the Cowboys skidding fortunes back through the slip-shod construction of their team.

Trust me, read it, you'll thank me later.

*Photo by Flickr-er Texas Big Boy

The Shooting Gallery

I can't help thinking the suit will be what San Francisco misses most about Mike Nolan.

And, strangely, the suit might be a symbol of all that was wrong with his head coaching tenure. Vain, preening, as concerned with image as football.

Feuding publicly with his quarterback to shift the blame on season headed South last year. Incapable of leading his team to victory a day after the death of his father, a former 49ers coach himself (in fact losing in an embarrassing shut-out on Monday Night Football to division rivals Seattle). Casting his failures as a victim of circumstance despite holding the final decision on player personnel until this season.

As Gwen Knapp at the San Francisco Chronicle said:

Shuttling from groundless bravado to thinly disguised neurosis with long layovers at utter confusion, Nolan's demeanor defined an organization that lost its way years ago, well before it hired him.

On the surface, Nolan seemed very different from his employers, the York branch of the DeBartolo family. He is full of swagger and vanity, a man of many words, most of them empty. The Yorks are sensible-shoes people, deathly allergic to microphones.

But both sides, the owners and their erstwhile head coach, care very, very much, almost desperately, about the opinions of others.

Nolan becomes the third head coach fired in the NFL this season. However, Nolan's axing may have more in common with another high profile NFL termination, Matt Millen's from the Lions.

Millen was the first to go this season. There was an odd tension about it. In some sense, Millen's firing felt rushed, just three weeks into the season. But, of course, in another sense, it was long delayed. Millen carried a 31-81 record throughout his seven full seasons in charge of Detroit's front office, only to see his team drop the first three games into this his truncated eighth season.

Millen's management was marked by horrible draft picks, questionable free agent signings, and an inflexibility to deviate from his plan when circumstance dictated otherwise. He certainly cared deeply for rebuilding Detroit after decades of futility and wasted talent.

But he wasn't shrewd enough in his dealings with players and rival front offices. Nor in his assessment of talent, often falling in love with "his" guys and believing in them long after they flamed out in the NFL pressure cooker.

I've said in this space before that Millen might be the GM if we were GM of our favorite team. Too close, too involved, too immersed in our dream job to see the vultures circling as we stumble with responsibilities above our abilities.

The exit of Millen kicked off a mini-fire sale. Scott Linehan and Lane Kiffin were issued pink slips successively following week four.

Linehan's tenure with the Rams was marked by listless leadership and, thereby, wildly erratic performances by his best players.

Kiffin's time at the Raiders was a clash of two worlds. Oakland was on one side with its long winning tradition and its carefully guarded image projected by owner Al Davis all the way down. Kiffin on the other hailing from a coaching family well versed in coaching as business, nothing personal. In Oakland, under Davis, everything is personal.

While perhaps Jim Haslett's relative success in replacing Linehan in St. Louis nudged the York family to give Nolan the boot, Nolan as coach wasn't marked by passivity like Linehan or surrounded by paranoia like Kiffin.

He carried a deep affection for the job like Millen. And like Millen he was perhaps in over his head, unable to see the warning signs or lacking the knowhow to confront the challenges, external and self-created, of the job.

While Millen possessed too deep a faith in his own abilities, Nolan perhaps lacked such conviction. Too far at either end of the spectrum produced the same result.

Nolan was able to wear the suit of his father... unfortunately, he couldn't fit into his father's shoes.

The Notebook, Week 7

This weekend I was in Dallas for a wedding. The fact that wedding generally trumps football was a truth I attempted to outflank. Unfortunately, I failed.

Somehow, in the $160 per night hotel room, WiFi wasn't included and I preferred to save that money for drinks and Texas-themed souvenirs. So the internet access portion of my plan was shot.

The wedding itself was scheduled for 6:30 P.M. Central Time... or right before the Mizzou-Texas kickoff. Upon learning that, the groom turned to me and said, "I'm in idiot." I didn't offer counterargument. I think we were the only people in the state not watching that game.

But my plan for Sunday was perfect. No, I wouldn't be able to make it back to the city in time for all the NFL games. Instead, leaving early from Dallas, barring significant delays, I could take my chair at the bar in time for the four o'clock slate. Indy/Green Bay, Cleveland/Washington... hell, I was interested to see how the Raiders would respond to new head coach Tom Cable back home in Oakland.

Of course, this "perfect" plan included being at DFW airport at six in the morning, following the night of the wedding... No problem, just stay up!

I nearly made it. I sauntered back to the room around 4 A.M. feeling pretty good about myself. I was drinky but far from drunk. I was exhausted but not tired. I changed, I packed, I double checked. I was set to go.

My only mistake? I sat down. Instantly, I was out. I woke bleary-eyed, straining to see the time on the clock... 7:20, my flight's departure time. Cursing myself I ran to the airport and started that grand tradition of lurching from standby list to standby list while reeking of whiskey and nursing a child-scaring hangover.

It was evening before my flight touched down at LaGuardia. I contacted my buddy Les to get the scoop on the early action. Dallas destroyed by St. Louis. Baltimore playing dominate football a week too late. Carolina bouncing back from blowout to dismantle New Orleans. Both Chicago and Minnesota scoring over 40 points a piece. Buffalo putting the brakes on a supposedly surging San Diego team.

What the hell is going on?

The day's bare-bones outline upended many conceptions the young season seemed to be drawing up. It's not just the Rams coming back on the Redskins... it's the Rams demolishing the Cowboys.

I made it to the bar in time to catch Peyton Manning throw his second pick-6, this one to Packers safety Aaron Rouse, as Green Bay continued their cruise through the tough Indy squad. Favre led the Jets to a game-tying drive only to drop victory in overtime to Oakland.

So do we ignore much of yesterday's results? In a sense, I wonder if yesterday was an across the board aberration.

Bills 23 Chargers 14. I'm not denying Buffalo who I thought had a real chance this season to turn some heads... but San Diego was supposed to have worked out the kinks against New England last week. When do we start worrying about LaDanainian Tomlinson only topping 100 yards once this season (against Oakland) and averaging 3.6 yards across the board?

Panther 30 Saints 7 / Ravens 27 Miami 13. As far as I'm concerned Carolina and Baltimore can fall in the same football-team shaped hole... Both coming off blowouts last week, they in turn mutilate their opponents this week.

Bears 48 Vikings 41. Please tell me that the defenses scored half of these points...

Rams 34 Cowboys 14. In the offseason, I admitted I don't have any thoughts about St. Louis. After two wins against NFC East... no, I still can't do it. Let's talk after New England.

Redskins 14 Browns 11. Who's got the swollen balls now? Cleveland coach Romeo Crennel goes for it on fourth down twice near the endzone... his team is stopped once and scores once. And then I look up to see normally clutch Phil Dawson miss a field goal that would send the game into overtime. I don't want to pile on Dawson, he attempted a 54 yarder, but it's clear this Browns team refuses to not be frustrating this season.

Packers 34 Colts 14. I would love to say this win indicates the next big step for Green Bay. And it's big, no doubt. But the only thing I feel I can gloat about is Charles Woodson making Reggie Wayne thereby Peyton Manning look silly. I imagine Chuck doing the Heisman pose, stiff arm extended to Peyton's forehead.

But the biggest lesson learned from Sunday? The body rapidly hurtling toward 30 cannot uphold to the rigors of younger days. "Perfect" plans that require all-nighters turning whiskey-soaked nights into cross-country travel are nothing to bank on.

Adam Banned, Roy Freed, Shaun Apparently Still Alive

Adam "Pacman" Jones is out indefinitely. Roy Williams is freed to a better mess (Detroit to Dallas trade, specifically). Shaun Alexander is amazingly given another chance (signed in desperation by Washington).

"The league said reinstatement will depend on strict compliance with treatment plans by the NFL and the Cowboys and an evaluation by 'clinical experts.'"

"'I'm more happy to be a Dallas Cowboy then when I got my first bike,' said Williams, an Odessa native who starred at the University of Texas."











"A few years ago, a Portis-Alexander backfield would have been a bit much for any team to handle — as both were considered among elite backs in the NFL. Now Alexander, 31, was simply looking for work."











*All photos via Flickr.

Fuhbaw Metrics 6

Perceptions change quickly in the NFL. In the span of a couple weeks the Cleveland Browns went from trendy playoff pick to postseason afterthought.

Losing big and looking out of sorts will do that.

But, perceptions aside, how much did the Browns really change from that team boasting scary offensive weapons and promising defensive improvement? Tough to say.

In walloping the Giants Monday night, Cleveland proved it still possesses the firepower to challenge in a wide-open AFC. Braylon Edwards and his 153 receiving yards led the offense's dissection of one of the top two or three defenses in the league.

And the Cleveland defense, in nabbing three picks, reverted Eli Manning to pre-Super Bowl run form, the boom-or-bust play, spectacular in both extremes, that's defined his young career longer than the cool-headed winner in which he's supposed to have matured.

So do our perceptions shift back to previous paradigms? In one big win, are the Browns once again contenders? Are the Giants once again too erratic to be trusted?

No. But don't cling to perceptions too closely, or you'll be disproportionately shocked when, say, New England doesn't make the playoffs this year.

With that, let's look at some factors from week six's NFL action.

Variables

Known: Amazingly Drew Brees is even more in command of New Orleans's high-powered offense. And that command is translating into greater efficiency. Somehow with their downfield attack, which often makes for the sidelines, Brees is completing over 70% of his passes while averaging two touchdowns a game. I would've thought the new force-out rules would hamper an attack like the Saints, but Brees keeps bringing a new receiver to the highlight reels every week.
Unknown: Whether Brees can keep pace to shatter Dan Marino's single season passing yards record. At his current clip, Brees will easily pass the 5,084 yard mark Marino set in 1984. New Orleans has some talented defenses left on the schedule (San Diego, Tampa, and Chicago) but it's not like anyone's really figured out a way to stop the Saints offense yet.

Known: So much of the end of Indianapolis air dominance. Shaky even in victory during the season's early goings, the Colts thoroughly dominated the Ravens. They did it on the defensive side of the ball, limiting Baltimore to 51 yards rushing and picking off three Joe Flacco passes. The did it on the offensive side of the ball, Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne racing through Baltimore's secondary on their way to catching three touchdowns from Peyton Manning. With the early Tennessee surge and a tough Jacksonville team starting to pick up steam, the Colts were widely considered in decline. Halt that talk, the AFC South looks to be a tight race again.
Unknown: Which Denver team will show up each week. Will it be the Jay Cutler aerial show? Maybe the "We sack when we wanna sack" front seven? Or maybe the 2007 Broncos... Against the Jaguars Sunday, the Broncos looked listless and dazed. I guess that's the 2007 edition.

Known: Arizona boasts three very good receivers. The line about the Cardinals receivers always runs "the best starting duo in the leauge." With Anquan Boldin's unfortunate injury, third receiver Steve Breaston was forced into the starting spot opposite Larry Fitzgerald. Breaston's responded with games of 9, 7, and 8 catches, many of them clutch. Should Boldin make it back to the line-up soon, the Cardinals passing attack will become even scarier.
Unknown: With Tony Romo's four-game injury vacation, if Dallas can re-establish their ground game. In their two losses over the last three weeks, the Cowboys running game has sputtered to 73 yards on 22 carries against Arizona and 44 yards on 11 carries against Washington. Now, with Romo slated to miss four weeks with a broken pinky (there's no manly way to write that) Dallas needs the ground game more than ever. Yet, defenses will certainly load up the box to stop Marion Barber and Felix Jones and see if back-up Brad Johnson can beat them. How much Tony Romo's absence affects not just the passing attack but the offense in total should give some insight into what's turning into a frustrating frontrunner.

Proofs

1. Though Brett Favre is the talk of the town, the Jets trade for Kris Jenkins is nearly as important. With Favre struggling against an "unpredictable" Cincinnati defense, Jenkins absolutely demolished center Eric Ghiaciuc and whatever guard happened to also get in his way. Bengals running backs Chris Perry and Cedric Benson combined for 20 yards on 15 carries. Jenkins busted the pocket on passing downs forcing quarterback/drowning victim Ryan Fitzpatrick to take his eyes off his reads. All in all, a clinic on how to hold down the nose tackle position.

2. Greg Jennings is turning into the new Torry Holt. Jennings is leading the league in reception yards while averaging almost 20 yards per catch. Every week this season he's put together at the very least one highlight reel catch, often several. Like Holt, he has a knack for the downfield seams and displays a smooth burst of power at just the right moment.

3. It's not really a proof, but Lions quarterback Dan Orlovsky provided one play typifying Detroit's rudderless season. From his one yard line, Orlovsky took the snap from center into the endzone. Vikings defensive end Jared Allen came free on an inside move and drew a bead on Orlovsky. Orlovsky spying Allen rolled to his right to escape. Unfortunately, the endzone isn't eleven yards deep. Orlovsky ran out of the back without realizing it and gave up a safety. Fear, inexperience, panic, and lack of awareness... yup, can't think of anything more emblematic of the 2008 Lions.

> < =

Dockett's Day > Dockett's Stats. Despite the modest state line - three tackles, one sack - Darnell Dockett absolutely terrorized Tony Romo and the Cowboys. From his hybrid end/tackle spots, Dockett crashed through the line repeatedly forcing Romo off his timing or clogging the running lanes. The whole Carinals front seven finally played up to potential, but Dockett was particularly fired up, which made all the difference in the game.

Seattle Minus QB < Seattle Minus WRs. Sure, the Seahawks have struggled mightily this season with Matt Hasselbeck in the line-up and down their starting receivers. But dropping a must-win game against a middling Packers squad proved how worse the team is without Hasselbeck (clue: a lot). Charlie Frye must have done something awful to the forward pass, because it sure was exacting some kind of revenge on him Sunday. On the day, Frye averaged a pathetic 3.6 yard per attempt and threw two back breaking picks as the Seahawks dropped a winnable home game to continue their slide down the NFC.

Earnest Graham, FB = Earnest Graham, HB. Down their top two fullbacks early in their divisional match-up against Carolina, Tampa was forced to play top halfback Graham at fullback. Graham blossomed into a solid all-around performer last year. Against Carolina one facet of that talent was on display. Graham's tough blocking paved the way for Warrick Dunn's 115 yards rushing through a stout Panthers front seven.

Conclusion: Some are spelling doom for Dallas. I wish I could be one of them. The general arch of this team has been about cruising through the regular season only to crumple in the postseason's dense atmosphere.

If, however, their playoff hopes are intact a month from now, they could be set to stare down the adversity that's sprung on them in the playoffs at midseason instead. Yes, the team could finally be battle-tested by the time it hits the playoffs.

Or they could curl up during the coming weeks. But I'm not ready to write them off until they've responded to the next month and a half of play.

The Notebook, Week 6

Sunday, between 3:45 and 4:15 p.m. Eastern Time, three NFL games simultaneously hurtled toward wild conclusions.

While Tampa, Indianapolis, and New Orleans all dispatched their foes with ease (Carolina, Baltimore, and Oakland, respectively, on the wrong end of the beating stick) the rest of the early slate traded blows until the final bell.

I was late to the bar - a freelance project intruding on the Sunday ritual - and missed most of the early action save highlights and Cincinnati's decent impression of a football team while down their starting quarterback.

But I arrived in time to catch three offenses confidently orchestrate comeback drives... Only to watch their opponents respond with game-winning comeback drives.

(A fourth game decided in the final minutes, Detroit and Minnesota pawed weakly at each other until one of them rolled harmlessly over on the Metrodome's scratchy turf.)

It was a whirlwind of deep-outs and prevent defenses. But just how did this tense half hour of football go down?

Miami @ Houston

I'm betting this game drove high school coaches around the country crazy. Why? Turnovers, especially at crucial moments. Beastly Andre Johnson put one on the turf deep in Miami territory. Matt Schaub threw two picks. The ruthlessly efficient Chad Pennington threw a pick.

Even the turnovers had turnovers! On Miami's late scoring drive, Pennington's interception was fumbled and the Dolphins recovered. Led by Ronnie Brown's catch and run of 40 yards, Miami took the lead with under two minutes to play.

But Houston stormed back. They needed a field-ruled interception overturned by review, an amazing over-the-defender's-back catch by Johnson on 4th and 10, and a perfectly called quarterback draw near the goal line to capture the lead for good, but the Texans finally put a check in the win column after three straight tough divisional losses.

St Louis @ Washington

I don't often pity Redskins fans. Singing "Hail to the Redskins" after converting first downs will exhaust my fan empathy. But the Washington fan sitting at the bar, head nearly in his hands, staring with some minor scrap of derided hope at the last several minutes of his team's loss to the horrific Rams certainly got my pity.

Washington outplayed St Louis. They out-passed and out-ran them. But the Rams constantly swarmed Jason Campbell and forced three key fumbles.

St Louis absorbed Clinton Portis's powerful rushing. Washington put it on Portis on their late drive, Clinton carrying the ball four times for 43 yards and the go-ahead score.

The only mistake Washington made was scoring to quickly.

With just under four minutes left on the clock and down only a point, St Louis in fits and starts moved down the field. In fact, it was all rookie receiver Donnie Avery, quiet for much of the game, whose two catches netted most of the drive's yardage. For the second, Avery took corner Shawn Springs deep then adjusted perfectly to Marc Bulger's underthrown pass for 43 yards to the Redskins 16 yard line.

The Rams weren't done St Louis-ing themselves, a unsportsmanlike penalty backed up their field goal try, but veteran kicker Josh Brown banged the try through from 49 yards out as time expired.

Chicago @ Atlanta

Raise your hand if you thought Kyle Orton and Matt Ryan would be trading late game heroics this season? I didn't think so...

Hanging onto a six point lead late in the 4th quarter, Jerious Norwood took a Bears kick of 85 yards to Chicago's 17 yard line. But Jason Elam pushed the 33 yard attempt wide left.

Orton promptly chewed up the field with short passes until he found Devin Hester on square-in for 17 yards and, with 17 seconds left, Rashied Davis on a corner pattern in the back of the endzone for 17 more yards and the score. The extra point put the Bears up by one.

Somehow, the Falcons were not done. Starting from their 44 yard line after the squib kick and with only 7 seconds on the clock, Ryan found Michael Jenkins for 26 yards on the far sideline. With one second remaining, Elam, though he couldn't from 33 yards, converted from 48 for the nearly unthinkable comeback.

In quick succession around 4 p.m. we witnessed four touchdowns and two time-expiring field goals in just three games, amazing.

Check back for more analysis on Sunday's action tomorrow in Fuhbaw's Metrics breakdown.

Phi Bloga Recapa, Week 7

A lot of question marks this Saturday...

Oh, I don't necessarily mean, who ascends the rankings after a couple top teams bungled their close-ups on national TV like a horny, nervous teen boy bungles his first attempt at unhooking a bra.

More, what the hell was going on at the end of that Notre Dame-UNC game? First question, why was I watching the Irish? I don't have a good answer for you save as long as CBS persists on sticking Tennessee games into the 3:30p time slot, my options are few.

But to the game itself, what was up with the two lengthy reviews? Both times, the officials spent nearly 10 minutes conferencing. One review breathed undeserved life into Notre Dame's comeback attempt. The second killed their final chance long after it was obvious to just about everyone that the Irish goose was cooked.

I mean, if you're going to try to hand Notre Dame the game through officiating, just man up and do it.

Seriously, I hope that's the last I write about Notre Dame this year (though I know better than to cash that check).

Yesterday was a pretty wacky day. Let's take a stroll around sports blogfrica for reactions and thoughts on Saturday's action.

Texas 45 Oklahoma 35. HeadThief from Land Thieves says:

# I don't know why the Sooners didn't try a fifth DB instead of raw LB Brandon Crow. The Horn passing game consisted of short throws to Cosby, and throws in the middle of the field to Shipley ALL FREAKING DAY.
# Colt McCoy does a great job of moving around the keeping the play alive. He's more athletic than you initially think he would be. Is that because he's white? Or because he looks like he still doesn't shave?

Toledo 13 Michigan 10. Tim and Paul from Varsity Blue say:

Paul: mind lasers. please. we need an inexplicable mistake on their part
Tim: tom hammond save us all
Paul: all hail hammond! & zoltan...
Paul: mmb should learn yakety sax
Tim: no but we're srsly going to lose to fuckin toledo
Paul: ast time you said that we lost to appy! jinxer!
Paul: i think this proves sheridan to clemons is not effective
Tim: sheridan to X is generally terrible. mostly on account of the sheridan factor
Paul: bye bye motor city bowl
Tim: i might puke
Paul: can we pretend toledo is in CUSA or something?
Tim: beat the fucking nittany lions
Tim: maybe we can win the tears of infinite sadness award this week.

Texas Tech 37 Nebraska 31. Ryan Hyatt from the Williams and Hyatt Show Blog says:

So much for 59-17...

If Mike Leach’s bunch were a basketball squad you might call them a good tournament team tonight. Against Nebraska in a not-quite-ready-for-prime-time performance Tech won 37-31 in OT to stay unbeaten and stay in the tournament that is college football and the Big 12 South. It wasn’t pretty, heck at times it wasn’t even interesting, but it was a win and that’s pretty much the best thing Tech can take away from it.

Oklahoma St 28 Missouri 23. AJ from Behind Enemy Lines says:

I’m not sure what Mike Gundy did to his defense, but the pressure the Pokes put on Daniel won the game. I’m not going to lie to you..I’m not some sort of offensive line guru, but I’d like to know how the same offensive line that allowed Daniel to make a four course meal in the pocket while in Lincoln last week could allow that much pressure. Perhaps Okie State is just that good or the Husker front four just sucks that bad. Not sure…but props to Okie State. They outplayed the Tigers in almost every part of the game. They deserve all the credit they can get...I was very very impressed.

Florida 51 LSU 21. Jeff at LSU TigerBait says:

LSU was in the game for about the first 5 minutes of the third quarter. Outside of those 5 minutes, it wasn't even close.

Lee threw two interceptions, one for a touchdown. Percy Harvin and the other Florida speedsters had a veritable field day. McCray got burned again. Charles Scott was held to 35 yards on the ground.

But those things are simply symptoms of the real cause of the one-sided ass-whooping last night. Domination at the line of scrimmage. LSU is supposed to have great talent on both the offensive and defensive lines. Either that was exposed last night as an overstatement, or Florida has more and greater talent. Because LSU's big men were owned. All night.

Penn St 48 Wisconsin 7. I couldn't find any worthwhile reactions from Penn Staters - outside of this photo posted by Black Shoe Diaries - because I assume they are all still sleeping off their enormous celebration induced hangovers.

Odds and Endzones: Sharing the Coaching Magic

The world of football is a weird one. To succeed in it, the individual must possess talent, confidence, and focus that measure off the charts.This makes the inhabitants of this weird world, you know, absolutely nothing like you and me.

In a nod to this strangeness, Fuhbaw presents Odds and Endzones, a collection of weird news from the football world that promises to run randomly and without warning.

$#!%@ The NFL going international faces a number of challenges. Foremost, how to teach this incredibly complex game to the completely unexposed and uninitiated? While putting on clinics for children worldwide and an attempt at a European development league have made inroads, neither have successfully sparked grass roots explosion of the sport. According to the Wall Street Journal, the NFL now plans to launch a web-based tutorial aimed at Europeans called Coach Stilo:

Which is exactly what Coach Stilo tries to do, without too many X's and O's drawn in chalk or too much talk about nickel defenses. In their place, is this plain-spoken introduction from the coach: "Let me tell you something about the essence of this great game. American football is a game of modern gladiators. For shields we use pads. For swords we use brute strength."

From there, Coach Stilo, his assistant, the arguably annoying talking dog, and a handful of players discuss each position, explain how points are scored, then quiz viewers on what they have learned.

Sounds like a special teams coach... At least, they didn't model Coach Stilo on Alabama's strength and conditioning coach. Coach Stilo will never be a turning point in stimulating more understanding of our fair game abroad, but it might help the 90,000 headed to Wembley on October 26th to see the Chargers face the Saints know that there's no need to applaud punts.

$#!%@ Forbes recently compiled a list of the 10 sports franchises most likely to move. Their base metric for determining which franchises of the four major sports leagues are susceptible to changing cities is the condition of stadium facilities. While the article makes it clear teams won't likely move any time soon, given the current financial crisis, the threat of major flights are on the horizon.

Of the three NFL teams listed, only one is a real surprise. The Buffalo Bills and Minnesota Vikings have long been connected to moving rumors, Buffalo often with Toronto and Minnesota often with L.A. But Forbes also lists the San Francisco 49ers as likely moving candidates:

The Niners have dropped four spots in the valuations rankings since 2005. Revenues are second lowest in the league. If a new football stadium doesn't rise in the Bay Area to replace either San Francisco's Candlestick Park or Oakland's McAfee Stadium (both ancient by modern standard), one of the two teams will undoubtedly move.

Forbes cites the passionate Oakland fanbase as reason why the Raiders likely stay in the Bay Area. As for the 49ers, it's a strange turn for a franchise boasting such recent wild success. And an indictment of ownership that let the team slip into a state where mediocrity would be a welcome state.

$#!%@ Trying to keep your sports from mixing with your politics? Good luck. According to the Las Vegas Review-Jounral, ACORN, a national voter registration group, was raided by state officials at its Nevada headquarters for submitting phony voter registration forms. What does this have to do with football?

"Some of these (forms) were facially fraudulent; we basically had the starting lineup for the Dallas Cowboys," Secretary of State Ross Miller said. "Tony Romo is not registered to vote in Nevada. Anyone trying to pose as Terrell Owens won't be able to cast a ballot."

Of course, since its politics, ACORN has a response:

Interim Chief Organizer Bertha Lewis said the group based in Clark County routinely flagged suspect applications and notified the Clark County Election Department. The group provided state and county officials with the names of individuals who submitted the falsified registration forms.

"Election officials routinely ignored this information and failed to act," Lewis said. "ACORN pleaded with them to take our concerns about fraudulent applications seriously."

Draw whatever conclusions you wish... The only thing we can be sure of is the canvasser who decided to scribble "Jason Witten" down isn't very bright.

"Auburn Has Left the Building"

Between loving sports and writing sports exists a disconnect. That's not to say they're mutually exclusive. Rather, the relationship between the two is sometimes messy, pulling the writing sports fanatic in different directions.

Writing, good writing, at its core is a balls-out play for truth. It doesn't shy away from harsh realities. It sets its course toward emotions and thoughts not easily spoken, not easily confessed.

Loving sports, on the other hand, requires a suspension of reality. Sports makes fantastic (and fantastical) religion. It revolves around faith. Faith and a conscious decision to give over to events out of our hands, to rationalize our team's or favorite player's triumphs and failures in terms of some cosmic justice.

Don't be mistaken, I'm not saying fandom requires suspending reason and critical thought, though it can feel that way at times. Instead, rationality serves different ends in differing degrees for these different compulsions.

What I am saying is sometimes the best sports writing springs from a writer's worst moments as a fan. Why? The sudden intrusion of harsh reality lending words a sharpened edge of bitter truth might have something to do with it.

With that, let me present the blog of Auburn Elvis. First some background...

Auburn with its fearsome defense and reworked offense threatened to charge back to the top of the SEC. However, this new spread offense sputtered through the first six games prompting head coach Tommy Tuberville to fire offensive coordinator Tony Franklin some 10 months into the job.

Auburn's managed a 4-2 record over those six games; however, conference opponents LSU and Vanderbilt handed Auburn those two losses. The chance at a conference championship is slipping almost completely out of reach. These are dark time for Tigers fans.

For some reason I'm drawn to Auburn Elvis's terse ruminations on the current state of the Tigers. On many of the criteria which sports blogs are judged, Auburn Elvis's blog comes up short. He rarely posts more than once a week. His posts are often succinct to the point of being laconic.

But there's a Zen-like quality to the blog. The simplicity motions to much more behind the economical phrases and understated humor.

Here are some of my favorites.

From Auburn Downs Southern Miss:

Of course, turning the ball over 50% of the time they reached the red zone is less than encouraging, but it’s better than last year’s symphony of three-and-outs.

The defense looked good at times, and sub-standard at others. It was obvious that any team with a decent o-line and an accurate quarterback would spell big trouble for Auburn. Fortunately, Southern Miss is a little lacking in both respects.

From Auburn Posts Most Embarrassing Win Ever:

There’s winning ugly, and then there’s winning Auburn. Tonight, we saw something worse than either. Auburn’s laughable 3 to 2 victory over SEC powerhouse doormat Mississippi State shows that the Tigers’ new offense still has a ways to go.

On the up-side, perhaps this is just part of a strategy to sucker LSU into taking us lightly.

From Auburn's Stock Hits 53-Year Low:

I take Auburn losses pretty hard. Most times, I’ve felt like the parent of a smart kid who just brought home F’s on his report card. I’d get mad, yell at the screen, and wonder where I went wrong. Last night, those feelings changed. I now feel like the parent of a self-destructive child with a substance-abuse problem. What can I do? I love them, but it really hurts watching them throw their lives away.

Not every Auburn Elvis post is two paragraphs short. (His comparatively lengthy take on Auburn's loss to LSU was illuminating for those who couldn't watch the game closely.) But I find a lot to like in the often little space.

Perhaps I read too many blogs and one blissfully chugging against the stream sticks out disproportionately. But I think there's something interesting going on beneath that plastic Elvis wig and I urge you to check it out as Auburn continues its difficult march through the SEC.

Fuhbaw Metrics 5

Blowouts. Comebacks. Upsets. These are themes of the NFL's fifth week. The Giants, Panthers, and Bears all destroyed lesser opponents. The Redskins, Titans, and Colts all charged to wins with late surges. The Dolphins, Falcons, and Cardinals all notched wins against favored foes.

The next few weeks, the race to midseason, is crucial in setting up the first snapshot of the playoff picture. Team teetering on the edge like Philadelphia, Jacksonville, and Green Bay have time to come back if they make strides in the coming weeks.

With that in mind, let's look at some factors from this past Sunday's NFL action.

Variables

Known: The New England offense still goes through Randy Moss. The Patriots defense looked lively, forcing turnovers, bringing pressure on the still puzzling 49ers. But it was the rediscovery of Randy that finally opened things up for the New England offense. Last year, the vertical threat of Moss turned Tom Brady's dink-and-dunk game into an elite force. After keeping everything underneath for Matt Cassel, the Patriots finally unleashed the deep ball, Moss nabbing 5 catches for 111 yards.
Unknown: Whether wide receivers can save Seattle's season. Using street receivers for much of the first weeks, the Seahawks finally got starters Bobby Engram and Deion Branch back in the line-up. But a fearsome Giants defense, rust from Engram and Branch, and injury to Matt Hasselbeck neutralized any gains to the passing game. With the NFC West still wide open, Seattle could rebound from these early struggles. Or, they could continue their slide to mediocrity.

Known: The difference between "clutch" and "lucky" is razor thin in the League. It took a questionable roughing the passer penalty to jump start Tennessee's game winning drive against Baltimore. It took a couple of fumbles by Sage Rosenfels to give Indianapolis a chance to comeback against Houston. (More on Rosenfels later.) Both teams come out of Sunday looking like swaggering gamers... but both had more than their fair share of luck bounce their way, literally and figuratively.
Unknown: Whether David Garrard can make the jump to either "clutch" or "lucky." After a tough home loss to Pittsburgh, Jacksonville is losing ground on the division leading Titans. Garrard played effeciently last year, leaning heavily on the Jaguars tough rushing attack. As the ground game alternately explodes and sputters, more focus is on Garrard who's improved the past few weeks, but still has yet to put together a signature game. If all factors remain equal, Garrard will need to step up further to keep the Jaguars in the playoff hunt.

Known: Yes, Kansas City is terrible. A week after upsetting Denver, the Chiefs slid back into less than mediocrity. The offense was unable to move the ball at all against a good but not great Panthers defense. 127 total yards and 21 minutes of possession netted them absolutely no points. Defensively, they had no answer for Deangelo Williams's speed, who outgained the entire team all by his lonesome: 20 carries for 123 rushing yards, one catch for 25 yards, and three touchdowns total.
Unknown: What powers are hidden underneath J.P. Losman's impressive beard. With starter Trent Edwards knocked out on the third play in loss to Arizona, Losman came in and provided a manic effort. His play was at times impressive, at times maddening. One consistent thing that impressed was Losman's mountain man beard. With Edwards's status unclear, Losman may need to pull some burly magic from underneath his burly beardwork.

Proofs

1. Clinton Portis is still defying naysayers about his trade for Champ Bailey. No disrespect to Bailey who is one of the best in the business, but the Moneyball line is the Portis for Bailey trade was a clear net gain for Denver. Portis continues to put together an borderline Hall of Fame career, most recently shredding the tough Philadelphia defense for 145 yards on 29 carries and several key runs to push the Redskins past the Eagles, 24-17. And that's to say nothing of his worth as a blocker and skill as a leader.

2. Denver doesn't need to score 30 points to win every game. Against a vicious Tampa defense, Jay Cutler and company only managed 16 points. But the Broncos defense showed up to play, especially in the redzone, keeping the Buccaneers to just 13 points. The much maligned unit even managed 3 sacks, disrupting the quick timing offense when both Brian Griese and Jeff Garcia were dropping back.

3. I'm not crazy. Okay, maybe not fully unproven, but when it comes to the Arizona Cardinals defense, I'm not crazy. The young talented squad struggled through the early run of the season, coming to a head last week, giving up 56 points to the Jets. But in a dominant performance which saw them knock Trent Edwards out of the game and constantly pressure backup, and immaculately bearded, J.P. Losman, the Cardinals defense led the upset of the cruising Bills. Travis LaBoy and Clark Haggans caused the most ruckus, shredding the Bills line time and again.

> < =

Miami's single-wing offense > Detroit Lions' offensive offense. Though, the Dolphins didn't experience the wild success against San Diego that they did against New England, Ronnie Brown ran their single-wing "wildcat" formation to great effect in the upset. The formation averaged over 4 yards per play and Brown put up 125 yards rushing on 24 carries. Detroit on the other hand sputtered against the Bears, still attempting their failing ball control offense.

Matt Ryan's learning curve < Joe Flacco's learning curve. Flacco, a raw prospect was supposed to sit this year and learn. Injruies forced him into the line-up, but he was then supposed to learn on a tough veteran defense. Ryan, slightly more polished was supposed to struggle on a horrible team, struggle now, for the good of the future. However, the scripts are flipped and Ryan can rely on solid all around performances to ease his transition to starter, while Flacco is showing little offensive rhythm with his teammates. How these two rookies come out of this year, handed starting jobs out of the gate, will continue to be an interesting point of comparison.

Antoine Winfield = best Cover 2 corner in the league. Winfield has quietly put together a stellar career in Minnesota. A solid tackler and a smart cover man, Winfield often forces quarterbacks to the other side of the field. The only knock on his play is a lack of ball skills. Last night, against the Saints, Winfield was all over the field, returning a blocked kick for a touchdown, sacking Drew Brees, and forcing another fumble.

Conclusion: A lot has been made about Sage Rosenfels's supposed meltdown against the Colts. If not for the two late fumbles, Houston was on the its way to its first win and the bonus of sending a divisional rival down another game. And the decision to leap instead of slide was bone headed. But I ask you would the Texans had the lead without Rosenfels's gritty play? Yes, Andre Johnson and Steve Slaton are opening up the offense, but Rosenfels arm strength and confident pushed this Texans team to an early lead. The first fumble, the one on the leap, was just another symptom of that same play that had the team beating soundly a favored rival. And the second fumble was the combination of good downfield coverage and an athletic play by Robert Mathis to stretch for the strip-sack. So is Rosenfels a goat? Maybe. But he's also willing to go out an win games... something lost in the torrent of criticism raining down on him this week.

The Notebook, Week 5

The tone of Fuhbaw's Notebook is usually scientific. Detached. Analytical. Universal. It's not a put on, it's just how I try to make sense of Sunday's diverse happenings.

Not today. It's gotten real, it's gotten alarming

Today, the subtitle is easily: A Plea to the Other Bob Sanders, Packers Defensive Coordinator.

For all the talk of Aaron Rodgers and the lengthy shadow of #4, this year's story for Green Bay was supposed to read, Veteran Defense Rises to the Challenge.

Right now, all that copy is being burnt out back.

When a rookie quarterback hangs 27 points on a veteran defense playing at home, you can be assured things aren't going well.

Injuries have taken toll on the roster. Starting corner Al Harris is gone for who knows how long. Starting defensive end and passing down 3-technique tackle Cullen Jenkins is lost for the season. Atari Bigby and Aaron Rouse have played little, the first and second strong safeties on the depth chart. Linebacker A.J. Hawk is battling injuries to his pectoral muscle and groin.

Yet the team doesn't lack for talent. And injuries are a football reality, a challenge within the season.

Down Harris and Bigby, the Packers don't have the personnel to run aggressive man coverage (see: Roddy White throwing Will Blackmon and Tramon Williams to the ground repeatedly on his way to 8 catches for 132 yards).

Down Jenkins, they can't hold the point of attack against the run while lining up in the 4-3 (see: Michael Turner chugging right at Jenkins's former end spot for the game-clinching first down).

All hope is not lost. But the scheme needs to be tailored to what talent is remaining on the roster.

How? Ditch the 4-3 man scheme. Implement a 3-4 with more zone coverage like Cover 3. It pains me to say this, because in effect we're talking a system with similarities to New England's, frustrating defensive football. But desperate times...

The facts are, the Packers currently possess a decimated defensive tackle rotation and four, possibly five, very good linebackers. Simply put the best players on the field as often as possible.

Ryan Pickett is big enough to handle the 3-4 nose tackle. Colin Cole, while not exactly stout, has the squat frame suited for the nose, and plays with enough intensity to give Pickett a breather.

Move Johnny Jolly out to the left end from the 3-technique. Jolly, a tackle, and Kampman are big enough to take on double teams at the ends. Spell Jolly and Kampman with Michael Montgomery, who also has the size to hold his own on the edge in the 3-4.

Really, the change is making sure Hawk, Nick Barnett, Brady Poppinga, and Brandon Chillar are on the field at the same time. Poppinga played defensive end in college, he can easily transition into the rush backer. Split Poppinga's time with Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila. Move them around the alignment and charge them solely with getting to the quarterback, a la Shawne Merriman and Mike Vrabel.

Barnett and Hawk have the speed and strength to play run while still covering the middle zones on passing downs. Chillar is a better coverage linebacker than Poppinga and can stick with most tight ends.

Out of the 3-4 the Packers linebackers can attack from more points on the field. Hawk, Barnett, Poppinga, and Gbaja-Biamila are all accomplished rushers. Ease up the pressure on the banged up secondary by 1. Bringing pressure for different positions, and 2. Playing more zone coverage at the corners, like Cover 3.

In effect, the defense will probably surrender more of the intermediate middle of the field between the 20's. That's okay, holding tight on the edges keeps the clock moving and the ball in play. And as the field compresses near the endzone, so does that middle of the field, making the upfield pressure generated by a blitzing rush that much more effective.

Both Will Blackmon and Tramon Williams, the young corners, are great athletes, as is safety Nick Collins. Let them sit back and make plays on the ball, without shooting the entire defense in the foot because there's no help over the top.

Unless Blackmon and Williams magically transform into shutdown man-to-man corners and unless the team can pull a run-stopping defensive end out of a comically overlarge hat, the Packers need to consider a serious scheme change that puts their best players on the field while showcasing their talents.

If not, it won't matter how many 300+ yard, multiple touchdown passing days Aaron Rodgers puts together. The offense isn't built to win shoot-outs, and shouldn't have to with so much promise on the other side of the ball.

It's up to you, Sanders, to figure out your secret recipe before this bird is fried.

Note: I've decided to split off the Math portion of these Notebook posts into its own discreet post. Why? Mostly due to the silly length of the current Notebook posts. Expect Fuhbaw's Math from yesterday's action up some time later today or early tomorrow. Nothing changes, I'll still weigh variables, advance proofs, and determine what's greater than, less than, and equal on the football landscape.

Phi Bloga Recapa, Week 6

You're probably saying to yourself, "Cian, in last week's Phi Bloga Recapa you ran a picture of a SEC themed cake, what's with repeating yourself like a simpleton?"

Maybe you're not saying that at all, maybe you're momentarily consumed with that freckle between your thumb and index finger... but assume you did care passionately about my visual choice to kick off this week's Phi Bloga Recapa.

And I will answer, as long as the people continue to create college football themed confectionery, I will find it and post it in celebration.

The Auburn-Vandy game was a treat to watch, especially for those of us wired for defense. How huge was that goal line stand by Vandy in the game's opening minutes? Plus, one can't overstate the cool headed play of backup Mackenzi Adams coming in for Chris Nickson. He was on the money, throwing on the move. And his cleats churned up some turf, playing the option well.

It's hard not to feel real excited for Vandy right now... well, except if you're an Auburn Tiger with two close losses in the SEC this year.

With that, here's a look around sports blogfrica for reactions to this week's college football results.

Pittsburgh 26 South Florida 21. Chas from Pitt Blather says:

They made mistakes. They screwed up on special teams. They turned the ball over a couple times. Stull threw some horrible passes. Mistakes were made. Yet, instead of retreating into conservatism and everything Wannstedt has usually done, he let the team stay aggressive and keep attacking. The defense kept going after Grothe. The offense still threw the ball — downfield.

The players responded. Their energy was excellent the entire game. It was the sort of effort and game Pitt fans have been wanting to see. It’s not about making the offense more “exciting” or something it isn’t. It is seeing Pitt use the players in ways that takes advantage of their skill sets rather than just jamming them into the system regardless of fit.

West Virginia 24 Rutgers 17. 5th Year Senior at West BY GOD Virginia says:

WVU 24 Rutgers 17

NEXT

Alabama 17 Kentucky 14. TerryP at RollTideBama says:

I want you to ask yourself before we continue. Is there a soul, just one, that truly believed the Crimson Tide would be entering their first off week of the season undefeated?

You, the guy that just raised your hand, you are lying.

...

There are more things we can point to that weren’t what was expected from this game. None of them are on the Kentucky side of the ball.

We knew they would come out in man coverage, and they did. We didn’t do a good job of getting open against that coverage. When that happens, combined with poor protection of the quarterback, the perception that the QB had a bad day is reality. The perception that is it all his fault, is demonstrably false.

We knew Kentucky would come out and “stack the box” with 7 and 8 men against the run. A Kentucky team that stopped the vaunted Alabama rushing attack leads one to perceive they did well against the Alabama running attack. The reality that Alabama still accumulated 282 yards running the football tells you they failed to contain the Alabama attack.

Something many have perceived is this is a team that needs a break. Very true. After playing six games this season at a very, very high intensity level the Alabama squad is emotionally, mentally and physically tired. This off week couldn’t come at a better time.

Vanderbilt 14 Auburn 13. Diezba at Star & Stripe says:

The magnitude of this victory is difficult to overstate, because with the win, these Commodores continue to demolish program records.

It was the first time since:

• 2006 that the Commodores held an opponent to so few passing yards;
• 1991 that Vanderbilt has won 3 consecutive games in a season;
• 1982 that Vanderbilt beat three consecutive SEC teams;
• 1974 that Vanderbilt has beaten such a highly-ranked team in Nashville;
• 1955 that Vanderbilt beat Auburn;
• 1950 that Vanderbilt beat Auburn in Nashville and went 3-0 in the SEC;
• 1947 that a ranked Vanderbilt team beat another ranked team;
• 1943 that Vanderbilt started 5-0; and
• 1941 that Vanderbilt started 5-0 in a full season.

It was only the third time in the history of football at Vanderbilt that the Commodores are 3-0 in the Southeastern Conference.

Ohio State 20 Wisconsin 17. Jason at Eleven Warriors says:

Saturday night in Madison marked Terrelle Pryor’s first start in a hostile road environment and with one slick 11 yard keeper with just over a minute to go, he crossed some other things off of his list. Pryor got his first comeback victory and the satisfaction of hearing Mark May praise his performance (through gritted teeth no doubt) looped on ESPN throughout the night. He played a part in snapping the Badgers’ 16-game home winning streak, the second-longest in the nation. He handed Bret Bielema his first ever home loss and helped even his own coach’s record against the only team that had logged a winning mark against him.

Pryor’s night was far from perfect. He made his share of mistakes and seemed to let a hesitation funk stick with him for the middle quarters. You could also argue that Beanie Wells was just as, if not more important to the team’s effort. But it will be Pryor’s 80-yard victory march and the plays he made on that drive that will be remembered for years to come. He was so clutch, in fact, that we’re considering switching the nicknames up a little and calling LeBron Terrelle in High Tops.

Glamour Pets

From recent contestant in Fuhbaw’s Instant Alma Mater Showdown to potentially worst season ever… Ah, Washington State Cougars, how the mighty have fallen.

In actuality, the Cougars’ slide is several years in the making. Never a Pac-10 powerhouse, though, they fielded solid teams during the 90s and early 00s under Mike Price. Still the school hasn’t won a Rose Bowl since mustaches were still handlebarred sincerely and ankles were considered sexy (specifically 1916).

New head coach Paul Wulff in his first year needs time to turn around the roster following years of underwhelming recruiting classes. Recruiting classes that might’ve included a sack of potatoes and three empty promises.*

And a 1-4 record is alarming, especially considering the two out of conferences losses and the 63 points put by a hobbled Oregon Ducks squad last week.

So, Coach Wulff, what’s the problem here?

“We lack calorie intake…”

Wha?

“They're required to eat X amount of meals a week. Kids weren't eating them. Therefore, you have kids not growing. They aren't putting in the proper calories.”

Okaaaaay…

(Is anyone else thinking of Monty Python’s “Self Defense Against Fresh Fruit” sketch?)

So Wazzu is a team made up of listless waifs. Yikes. Football players that don’t like to eat isn’t a good sign. You can’t march out the set of Vogue’s fashion spread on Saturdays and expect to beat Oregon State.

But it gets worse.

According to the Daily Evergreen, Washington State’s student newspaper:

The WSU football team is short on quarterbacks and is looking to any suitable passer on-campus to fill an open spot. The Cougars are looking for one athlete, who is admitted to WSU, to help the team by anchoring the offense on the scout team after starting quarterbacks Kevin Lopina and Gary Rogers fell to injuries. The open tryout will take place on Monday. A time has not yet been announced.

Coach Wulff would like to add that big eaters are encouraged to apply. Cougars fans may some day look back at this time and just laugh and laugh (or they may be laughing now through the tears)… But it looks like another long season in Pullman for the time being.

Let’s just hope that the opposition doesn’t have a pointed stick.

*Unsubstantiated.

No Bailout for Bears

As the economy crumbles around us, my mind turns to the Chicago Bears. Why? Because, like the financial crisis, I don’t get this Bears team at all.

Take Sunday night's game. Chicago committed two more turnovers than Philadelphia, put only 78 yards on the ground, and controlled possession for 4 fewer minutes. Still, they beat a top flight opponent, maybe not with ease, but not by fluke.

Yet one week prior, they forced Tampa into four turnovers, dominated the clock, and made Brian Griese beat them through the air, holding Warrick Dunn and Earnest Graham to 47 yards on 17 carries. Here, however, they fall in overtime.

I don’t know what’s the bigger surprise, that Chicago’s won only two games… or lost only two.

Did they crumble against Carolina and Tampa? Or overachieve against Indy and Philly?

The Chicago identity is wrapped up in defense. This is carved in a football shaped stone on some distant plain past Aurora’s city limits. And the defense is talented still, especially with a healthy Mike Brown.

A truly dominating defense – Baltimore in 00, Chicago in 85, Pittsburgh in 75 – suffocates hope, eliminates it from the equation. It’s systematic. It’s cold.

And perhaps that’s how the Bears defense during the latest Super Bowl run operated. But gone is the ruthlessness of 05-06... in it's place is a desperation, but also a gambler's willingness to ride luck too hard.

I lived in Chicago during Orton’s first run quarterbacking the Bears in 05. As a rookie forced into the line up, Orton won games despite horrible play (13 picks against 9 touchdowns, 12 fumbles losing 5 of them). He deserved little credit for the team’s NFC North division title.

Because Orton helmed a winner, however, Reebok rolled out thousands of Orton #18 jerseys around town. Near the end of the regular season as Orton’s play slid from mediocre to horrible, I remember walking into Sportsmart and being confronted with a sea of unshuffled dark navy Orton jerseys on their way to banishment to the discount racks.

Orton won the least anticipated quarterback competition this offseason against Rex Grossman. He's undoubtedly improved in this his second go around as the starter. His deep out displays nice touch and velocity. He can hit a smaller window in the middle crossing of the field.

But he’s still prone to turnovers. Interceptions, yes, but a propensity for fumbling. The reason Grossman lost his job was this kind of inability to take care of the ball.

Yet with less big play ability, minus Grossman and a number one receiver, this year the Bears look more in it than last.

Sunday night’s victory over Philly bored me so much at one point I passed out with my head on the floor. I woke up in time to see the goal line stand which didn’t seal the win but nearly guaranteed it.

There’s no doubting the stoutness of the Bears defensive middle. Tommie Harris and Brian Urlacher are formidable on the field together.

Add in the pressure alignment Chicago often calls to send opposing quarterbacks into frenzied audibles. Both tackles lined up outside the guards while linebackers Urlacher and Lance Briggs lined up in the “A” gaps on either side of the center. With four on three in the middle of the line, the tackles can stunt outside while one or both of the backers blitz. Or the tackles can crash in as the backers drop to zone coverage.

The most important part of this aligment might be Briggs and Urlacher glaring intently, inches away from the quarterback’s face.

The alignment was effective against Indy, flummoxing a gimpy Peyton Manning. And it worked in fits and starts last year when Chicago's normal Cover Two scheme wasn't generating enough inside pressure. But it's important to note it's origins, in last year's struggles, as the team became desperate for spark.

And while Briggs and Urlacher can cover enough ground to overload the middle of the line, cool headed quarterbacks can exploit this unbalance.

The philosophy of the Cover Two is one of maximum balance, bend-but-don't-break, backers ranging through wide zones, linemen moving upfield, safeties keeping everything in front.

It's designed to present few chinks in the armor to exploit, force quarterbacks to take what's given, small underneath routes. It's meant to frustrate with stony faced consistency.

But this Bears defense is an emotional bunch, almost like a college team. They've made the forced fumble a skill. And they've come to rely on that, too, like they rely on Devin Hester's kick returns for offense.

There's some cross purposes here. A team playing a scheme that doesn't suit their collective personalities, finding intermittent success with an alignment that goes against their playbook's philosophy. And a error prone quarterback trying to helm a ball control offense.

What does this mean for the rest of the season? Christ, who knows. For a veteran defense, it looks like it's stuck in an identity crisis... but maybe the 4th quarter of Philly worked out some of that. Give up the bend-but-don't-break platitudes and don't be the team Denny Green thought you were.